Massage Advice for Wookies

Once upon a time while grabbing lunch at a spaceport in a galaxy far far away, a shady looking guy told me to never massage a Wookie as they were liable to rip your arms off. They’ve been known to do that he said. I asked if Wookies do the same to droids for any reason, but he said not so much.

So, I wondered how do you massage a Wookie and still keep both your arms in their sockets? Well, sports massage is very dependent on making good contact with the skin while using some kind of lotion. As Wookie’s have a tremendous amount of hair this would obviously make things very difficult. The lotion would just cover the hair before getting anywhere near the skin and the increased friction would just end up pulling much of that hair in the process. I guess this is the part they don’t like much, who would for that matter? Shaving a Wookie is a possibility, although I don’t much fancy trying it. This pretty much leaves us with dry or oil-free massage options of which there are a few to choose from. Chinese Tui Na, Shiatsu and Thai are all dry options that might be more agreeable with Wookies. They focus more on pressing, stretching and manipulation rather than rubbing and gliding over an oil or lotion medium. These would probably be the best choice for any therapist wishing to keep their arms in their sockets or for any Wookie not in the mood for maiming innocent therapists just trying to do their job.

So, Wookies aside, what if you just a bit hairier than the average human? Shaving is generally the go-to option for higher-level athletes but is perhaps a little time consuming for most others. Clipping is a viable option though. Either way, the better contact the therapist can make with the skin the better a sports massage or any oil-based massage will be. But, if you’re just not up for that level of mucking about, a dry massage would probably be an option worth investigating.

No Wookies were shaved for the purposes of this article.

Close Menu